Doubt

Let me tell you something about me that you wouldn't know,
Well, you see, I might be one of them preppy arrogant girls.
I may seem like I don't give a rat's ass about most things.
I mean, I'm not borned this way, I'm not a heartless bitch for no reason.
I've fallen too many times that I've finally learned my lesson.

Don't fall.

That's the trick. That's my way of loving myself. That's me.
Yes, I've been going around, as though as I've got no feelings for anything.
And in fact, I don't and I won't let myself. It's too hard.
It's too hard to fall and get back up every time by myself.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger?

I don't doubt that but I'm too tired of everything.
I'd rather it kill me than letting me live in grieve.
To lose myself again and again, no, it's not fun. I'm tired.
I've finally grasped on to me. I'm different now, but I'm still me.
I've just got thicker and higher walls these time matched with an act.

The problem with me is that, once I fall, I keep on falling.
No matter what happens, I will fight for it till I can't anymore.
Till all the odds are against me, and maybe then, I'm still fighting for it.
But I've learned, no matter how much you love it,
If it's not worth it, there's no point plunging down for.

I don't want to care, because when I start caring,

I start losing myself.

And in the end, you will most probably say,

I will not be like the rest, I can treat you well,

But I'm sorry, I can't trust anyone else but me.

I need way more reasons that this to start caring.