Saturday, September 25, 2010

False Pretense

I am so afraid of losing you once again but I realize that when I'm on the verge of making my decision, you are leaving me. Not me not deciding and then you leaving me but when I'm going to decide, or to tell you what I have decided pretty long ago but I was just not sure about it, I had doubts about your love for me, and now I'm losing grip of you.

You're slipping away from my hands and all I'm doing is watch.

I don't know to let you go
to hold on to this small last piece of you
that I have and tell you how I feel.

I might just get you back, or what if you said no and leave me depressed and in despair. That the only one time that I decided on anything you proved me that I don't need to because you are leaving anyways and I get my heart broken for falling for you.

You told me you will wait for me.
You will be there to catch me when I eventually fall for you
but it seems to me now that it is untrue.

Days are getting shorter, and we rarely talk nowadays. It seems that you are growing apart from me. Like what I did to you before this, I know I was wrong, but I couldn't take it that you were far away from me. I thought we could start again fresh but with those memories that we had.

Why is this happening? I feel that the world is crumbling down on me. As if the roof that had sheltered me all these while is collapsing while I'm in this place. The doors are there but I don't want to leave unless you want me to.

You tell me, should I hold on and take a chance of breaking my heart once again or let you go?

Just tell me.

Because I don't want to lose you once again baby.

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