I jokingly told him that when I was younger, I always wanted a set of stickers with my name printed on it. My other classmates would have it and I'm always jealous of them. One day, after a day out, he told me about his day the other day when he went to get something. In the end, he took out a set of those stickers with my name and penguin at the side.
He said, " You don't have to stick this all over me because, I'm already.. yours?"
Where is that guy that I was so amazingly fond of. The guy that made me fall head over heels. The guy that I would try to reply even though I'm already very tired. The guy that reads my blog all the time. The guy that listens to my playlist because I love those songs. The guy that will send me home and kiss me on the forehead before he leaves. The guy that told me I'm different, I'm not heartless and that he loves me. All those nice things he said ended with,
"I gave up already. I just don't have anymore feelings for you. I'm sick and tired of everything. I just want to be single for awhile."
That really broke my heart. I just don't have anymore feelings for you. A relationship of 5 months, and just like that, gone? Wow, that's just a little bit hard on me I think. Now, after 24 days of our end, I'm staring at the sticker he got for me on my phone. It's slowly peeling off at the edges.
I still love him and miss him. I do understand that it's best for us to not get together again, I do, really. I'm not living in denial anymore, not trying to get his attention thinking that he will fall in love with me again. No. I'm good with being friends, play it casual. I may still have feelings for him, but I do know that it does us both no good being together, it causes too much hurt for both of us. I didn't think that he was the one, but it was nice having someone that cares for you and to care for.
Yes, I admit that I've done mistakes that I wish I could take back, but well that's life. We can't take it back, but we sure can learn from it. Learn to appreciate, that's a note to myself. Don't take someone for granted because you think that he will still keep coming back. Until the point that he stops trying. That's when you realize. I admit that a tiny part of me still wants us to get back together, but I've reasoned over it and best not to.
There are many other beautiful things in life to ponder on. (:
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