Sunday, August 12, 2012

If I

Why don't any guy look at me the way he looks at her?


A feeling that I've not felt in a long time. As I get nearer, it gets clearer, it's not how I've pictured it to be, I never liked to be proven wrong, well who does? I thought giving my all would make a difference this time because it was always because I was holding back. Like what I said previously, every situation is different;

Is it the time to fight or let go?

And now I'm thinking to myself, how many more times before I get it right. I've always reminded myself, "I'm going to do it right this time. Just don't repeat the mistakes I've done. It will be just, perfect." I'm pretty confused myself, but I don't let anyone doubt my decisions, because I don't need another person doubting me. Every step I take, I think, too much; used to. Now, I just go darn right ahead and do it. It's like drinking, you know that if you take one more shot, you're going to get so fcked the next day, but you do it anyway.

Living by the moment.

Go with the flow? Well, it has come to a stand still. What should I do? I'm afraid of my every waking moment, and even more afraid of my dreams.

Because, just like her, I wasn't looking at him when he does.

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